impatient at edinburgh 2019

mark watson: how you can almost winassembly rooms studio 2 | 4pm [31-11]In 2017, Mark Watson – a man prone to considerable anxiety, with multiple phobias and a history of piss-poor self-esteem – was asked to go on Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls.I… — mark watson: how you can almost win
assembly rooms studio 2 | 4pm [31-11]
In 2017, Mark Watson – a man prone to considerable anxiety, with multiple phobias and a history of piss-poor self-esteem – was asked to go on Celebrity Island with Bear Grylls.
It really wasn’t for him at all because his favourite things include safety, comfort, food and not being scared and miserable. But the experience changed the shambolic comedian for the better and now he's writing a sort of motivational talk about what it taught him. But still with jokes.

★★★★★ 'hugely entertaining, craftsmanlike, remarkable’ Telegraph
★★★★ 'a stand up operating at the very top of his game' Independent
★★★★ ''he sparkles with originality and verve' Chortle.co.uk ★★★★ ‘one of the Fringe's most celebrated sons’ Fest

john-luke roberts: after me comes the flood (but in French) drip splosh splash drip BLUBBP BLUBBP BLUBBPBLUBBPBLUBBP!!

assembly rooms studio 2 | 5:30pm [31-26]

Blam blam! The critically acclaimed idiot returns with a brand-new hour of extraordinary daft-hearted comedy, following a complete sell out at last year's Fringe.

More jokes! More characters! More absolute nonsense!

★★★★★ 'Freewheeling escapism... a joy' Fest ★★★★ 'A hit' Times ★★★★ 'Impeccably choreographed, giddily inventive, turbo-charged hour' Telegraph ★★★★ 'Killer gags... glorious idiocy' Guardian ★★★★ 'this is alternative comedy close to its pinnacle' Chortle.co.uk

josie long: tenderthe stand 1 | 8:20pm [1-25] new town theatre | 10:45pm [24th EXTRA SHOW]Three-time Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee and very hard to pin down indie-underdog-nightmare Josie Long is back with a new show for the first time in five year… — josie long: tender
the stand 1 | 8:20pm [1-25] new town theatre | 10:45pm [24th EXTRA SHOW]
Three-time Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee and very hard to pin down indie-underdog-nightmare Josie Long is back with a new show for the first time in five years.
It's about the mind-bending intensity of new motherhood, but mostly about kindness, gentleness, and joy. All in all, the edgiest thing you will see this Fringe. The aim is for you to come out of it feeling optimistic about the future, although that's a big ask. At the very least there will be some really silly voices, and that’s not nothing, is it?

★★★★★ 'She’s the consummate comedian. A wonderful talent' Broadway Baby
★★★★ 'Brilliantly evocative, an original and unflagging spirit' Times ★★★★ 'Instils her audience with a positive, feel-good feeling' Chortle
★★★★ 'An absolute delight' Time Out
★★★★ Guardian
★★★★ Metro

marcel lucont: no.dixpleasance forth | 10pm [31-25]The Fringe's favourite Frenchman returns for his tenth year with an exquisite new show and a live band to abuse.Expect wit sharper than a pint of English wine, poems sexier than an art déco brothel … — marcel lucont: no.dix
pleasance forth | 10pm [31-25]
The Fringe's favourite Frenchman returns for his tenth year with an exquisite new show and a live band to abuse.
Expect wit sharper than a pint of English wine, poems sexier than an art déco brothel and jibes more devastating than an ill-judged referendum.
Catch the Gallic symbol at the height of his imperial phase.
As seen on BBC1's The John Bishop Show, Sky Atlantic's Set List and Comedy Central at the Comedy Store.
www.marcellucont.com

'Fresh, accessible, hilarious' Guardian ' Excellently dry' Times

shappi khorsandi: skittish warriorthe stand 1 | 1:40pm [4-10]Comedian, author, cultural icon and – most recently – idiot who agreed to be tortured on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, Shappi Khorsandi is a woman of many parts. But live comedy is … — shappi khorsandi: skittish warrior
the stand 1 | 1:40pm [4-10]
Comedian, author, cultural icon and – most recently – idiot who agreed to be tortured on I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!, Shappi Khorsandi is a woman of many parts. But live comedy is where she’s in her element, and now – after her spell in the jungle and a recent sell out tour around the UK - Shappi heads back to Edinburgh to perform in one of her ultimate favourite comedy venues, The Stand.

A brand new hour packed full of sharp-tongued gags, cultural observation, and whatever is in her easily distracted mind...this is Shappi's warts-and-all journey through the 90s comedy scene, to breaking through on telly and then letting it all slip away.
As heard on Radio 4, read in two warmly-received books, and seen sleeping in a hammock.

★★★★ ‘she has plenty to say and says it with pointedness and potency’ Guardian ‘has the crowd in the palm of her hand’ The List ★★★★★ Broadway Baby ★★★★ Guardian ★★★★ The Scotsman ★★★★ Chortle

mark watson: the infinite showpleasance grand | 11:15pm [9, 10, 23, 24]Cluster-bombed with yoghurt on Taskmaster, half-killed by Bear Grylls on Celebrity Island, scrawny Fringe legend Watson returns with his show about empathy and his usual notoriou… — mark watson: the infinite show
pleasance grand | 11:15pm [9, 10, 23, 24]
Cluster-bombed with yoghurt on Taskmaster, half-killed by Bear Grylls on Celebrity Island, scrawny Fringe legend Watson returns with his show about empathy and his usual notoriously high joke-and-rant-per-minute rate. Inspired by the mostly alarming state of the world his children are growing up in, and a genuine, urgent desire to do something about it...99 percent of the world's population is made up of other people: why can't we understand them?
One of the top-ten best reviewed comedy shows of last year's Fringe, where it sold out all 30 performances. After these farewell performances it will never be seen again. You'd better come.

john-luke roberts: terrible wonderful adaptationsassembly rooms studio one | 11:30pm [9, 16, 23]Following a surprising (and culturally deeply unsettling) smash-hit, sell-out run at last year's Fringe, this mind-bogglingly awful, disquietingly succes… — john-luke roberts: terrible wonderful adaptations
assembly rooms studio one | 11:30pm [9, 16, 23]
Following a surprising (and culturally deeply unsettling) smash-hit, sell-out run at last year's Fringe, this mind-bogglingly awful, disquietingly successful idea for a late-night comedy extravaganza returns. John-Luke Roberts wrangles an all-star cast of the best comedians and worst idiots into creating three more never-before-seen adaptations of unadaptable texts.
Previous catastrophic attempts include Francis Fukuyama's discredited political treatise The End of History, post-structuralist Roland Barthes' A Lover's Discourse, the iTunes Terms and Conditions, Ulysses and Á la Recherche du Temps Perdu.

mark watson: i appreciate you coming to this and let’s hope for the best (work in progress)the stand 1 | 1:40pm [13-25]Watson presents a show that’s no more than 50% ready for public consumption and hopes for the festival’s legendary supportive vibe… — mark watson: i appreciate you coming to this and let’s hope for the best (work in progress)
the stand 1 | 1:40pm [13-25]
Watson presents a show that’s no more than 50% ready for public consumption and hopes for the festival’s legendary supportive vibe to carry him through.

★★★★★ ‘quite unlike anything else I’ve seen in almost 20 years of covering the Fringe…witty, warm, perfectly judged Telegraph
★★★★ 'a stand up operating at the very top of his game' Independent ★★★★ ‘a quick-fire hour of fun’ Metro ★★★★ ''he sparkles with originality and verve' Chortle.co.uk ★★★★ ‘one of the Fringe's most celebrated sons’ Fest